I am sick to death of all this bullshit in the media about ‘the war between cyclists and motorists‘, what a pile of crap.
There is no war, there are just two groups of fucking idiots on the roads, fucking motorists and fucking cyclists and they are both as fucking stupid as each other. Humans are not as clever as they think they are, the vast majority have next to no common sense and only care about themselves, these people drive fucking cars and ride fucking bikes.
On the road the car is king, try and get that into your thick head, stop complaining about cars and buses and white van men and accept that no matter how many articles the hi-vis wearing reporters for The Guardian write that is not going to change any time soon. If you’re going to cycle then get used the fact that you are going to be sharing the road with thousands of fucking idiots driving enormous skullcrushing death machines.
When you ride on the road it’s your responsibility to make yourself as safe as possible, this is not done by wearing a bright neon vest and a useless plastic helmet, you make yourself safe by taking the lane and making drivers wait when you decide they need to wait, if you get squished up against a curb by a motorist the chances are that it’s because you are riding your bike like a fucking idiot. You are very much cycling within the law when you take the lane for your own safety, you may piss some people off but I’d much rather some prick get out of his silver Clio at the lights and try and punch me than be crushed to death because we are both using the road like fucking idiots.
Here are some tips to stop you cycling like a fucking idiot…
Curbs, stay well clear
Unless you are sure, wait
Never switch off, stay alert
Take the lane!
And if you’re a motorist try these ones…
Take a chill pill, you’re waiting a few seconds
When in doubt, wait
Always give 3ft
Think before you act
Seriously, if people keep going on about this so called war I swear I am going to scream, drivers just need to calm down a bit and cyclists need to stop riding like pussies. Fucking idiots, both.